World Mental Health Day
Like many others in this world, I struggle with mental health. And with today being World Mental Health Day, I wanted to share my story on how it effects me.
I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety, bouts of social anxiety and various levels of depression. It manifests itself as rapid circling thoughts, extreme self judgement and self doubt, avoidance, emotional numbness - I could go on. Basically it effects every aspect of my life, every day. It can make me feel utterly and completely alone, isolated from the world around me and unable to feel any real feelings. Fun, right?
Thinking back though, I’ve always been more of an anxious person. It served me well throughout some of the years, but I think I realized it was really effecting me in a negative way about 3 or 4 years ago, about the time I started Joybuilt. I felt trapped in my own head like I needed to get “myself” out and was shut off completely to the people around me. I think of it like having a giant lever in my mind that was pulled down shutting all of the lights off.
So the thing about Joybuilt is that it all stemmed from that self identity and emotional crisis that I was going through those years ago. I had no passion, no outlet, had (and still sometimes have) a habit of putting myself in imaginary boxes and being super-hyper-mega critical about my own work. Being in the place I was, I decided that I wanted to create a brand and a safe space of my own where I could be free to express myself in any way that feels right and let it organically grow into whatever it grows into. With no real idea of what it would become, I boiled the name down to my simplest truth: I love creating —i.e. building with joy.
Side note: I think it’s important to recognize, at least in my eyes, the difference between happiness and joy. I look at joy as being focused in the present and enjoying the process or journey you’re on. I look at happiness as the highs you feel along that journey. You can chase the highs all you want, but eventually you’ll fall down from those. You can see my mantra about joy at the bottom of the homepage. :)
Everything about Joybuilt has to do with my mental health. The name, the logo, the feeling I get when I’m working on it. Joybuilt makes me vulnerable and I like it (and am also terrified of it, but that’s cool too). I’m subsequently building a brand, which is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, and am using it as a form of therapy that helps me push myself, get out of my comfort zone, and connect to others. In the near future I’ll be producing actual products that are more mental health focused and really start sharing more of my story through those products. Excited!
I guess long story moderately short, I’ve struggled with mental health for a while. Joybuilt, talking to a therapist, and medication have helped me through the journey. And seriously, If you have something that you’ve been wanting to do, please just do it and make sure you do it with your whole heart and try giving no fucks about what anyone else thinks. It’s freeing, terrifying and makes your heart super happy.
If anyone ever wants to talk about my struggles, your struggles, whatever, please feel free to reach out. Here’s to being badass sensitive bitches! <3